Monday, August 19, 2013


I've been holding this one off for a while. I guess because Cheetos are a fairly monumental and iconic North American snack, they're also really disgusting but in the most delicious kind of way.  They also come in a ridiculously massive bag of 280 grams, hardcore snacking right here.

Usually I have the civility and willpower to photograph an unopened bag, but these are god damned Cheetos we're talking about, it's impossible not to open them immediately and start devouring them with all the enthusiasm of a starving dog who wandered into a sausage factory.
For my European readers you might be wondering what they're like; British readers might be familiar with Cheesy Wotsits, Cheetos are like those if they'd spent some quality time in Chernobyl for a few months, they're also corn snacks, covered in cheese-powder, only Cheetos are bigger, greasier, saltier and completely caked with cheese dust. I imagine every individual Cheeto probably takes a few minutes off a person's life, but it's probably worth it. My girlfriend was just worryingly lecturing me about their content, I've eaten about 250 grams of them since last night, she's informed me that I have consumed a gram of trans-fat that will never leave my body and probably clog my arteries... still worth it.

OK, I'll be honest, this image does kind of disgust me. When I think that I've eaten dozens of these things, a half a pound of them in the space of about 12 hours, it is somewhat worrying... BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD. I should probably give a brief history of Cheetos. Although there are many variants, the two main varieties are puffs, as shown here, and the crunchy ones. The crunchy ones have a firmer texture as you'd imagine and actually came out first. They originally appeared in 1948 as Chee-tos and were marketed more towards adults than kids, the original mascot was a mouse who spoke like an English butler about his dignified snack, that angle changed over time. Now they're marketed by an awfully 90's and hip cheetah called Chester, who sports shades and flies airplanes, he reminds me of Poochy from The Simpsons, a focus-group 'cool' mascot to appeal to the kids. There are many other variants around the world, just this year in Japan they released a Pepsi flavor! I've also tried the Jalapeno and Cheddar ones which are absolutely delicious.

But in conclusion, I have to ask myself, as I sit here with orange-stained fingernails and a bloated tummy, do I ever want to eat these things again? The obvious answer is no, but somehow I doubt this has been my last tango with Chester Cheetah.

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